So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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