It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There r osticjed everywhere
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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