remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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