Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
