He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
