I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
