I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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