return my video game
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
