Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
