ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
