so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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