I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
