You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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