are you still at the devil's house?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
