i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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