Im at strip club and am horny
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
