This girl is more easily done than said...
No subtext here. People are naked.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
