I want to walk on stilts...naked
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
