I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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