Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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