Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize