Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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