do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
