Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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