I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
