my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
