Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
