Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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