Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
