I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
