I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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