I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
