it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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