she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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