her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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