roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
