All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
