Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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