i don't like sucking hair
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
