R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
