You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need to calm my uterus...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
