but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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