ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
