i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
