Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
