Is it because I queefed?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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