Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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