Sry I called you an 8
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
