i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
