I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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