True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
