Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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