Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
