a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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