I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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